holi

holi has come,seasons change but the mood remains the same.i was happy for a couple of hours yesterday,just being there i guess.otherwise things are nasty,as nasty as they could get.wishing holi is far fetched thought,wishing good luck was an everyday affair.i could go on ahead and meet em guys but alas,fault of mine ,poor wretched soul i have been cursed of not moving that way.it has been my wish to see em beasties where they are seated and everythings fine and stuff like a good samartian.but i have denied myself that luxury and it chokes midway down my ailementary canal.happy holi or happy diwali i think the first word is missing eh..

rock in india

the topic is changing.how about the biggest thrash metal gig in india.9 bands one aim all the fukking headbanging u cud ever afford.the crowd was super and the energy was exhilerating.not all the bands did their best,but we liked some of the indian bands too much.there was one band named mother jane and one called millenium.both had extraordinary musicians.megadeth given only an hour,did the best they cud they rocked ...it was so fukking crazy..weed all over the air,whiskey shots,headbanging,real awesome experience.we went home in silence but we realized thrs only silence and metal,in between evrything is small talk

living in hell.its much better to die.i can now even envisage the wild furtiveness of a suicidal soul.things turned out to be really bad.i wanna feel something real in my life ,all i have felt is hatred.is this what its all about,then i shall not speak until i find ..

i have one regret.no one would understand.

werw

things are not changing a bit.what i realized today was that its becoming difficult for the both of us to communicate.i was standing there and it was so unfair that it was the way it was.we have to talk today or tomorrow ..i hope so

reason

i am getting affected.it seems ages now since i smiled or laughed.i would like to cry to scream and have some overture of emotions.but all seems placidand all seems gone.what gud can come off it i fail to see,but i dont want to end it here like this,i demand reason.