fukk

This day was totally shit,i didnt get the live project due to lack of interaction.dont know what the fukk that means..and friends are not even close to being friends.almost strangers.i dont know its been a month now and i am shit tired of it,wanna jus close it all,wrap it up and go away far far away.

hiccups

Days at office seem awfully wrong.I spend them in silence,never questioning the cause or the source.Its difficult and painful to stare at blank faces,faces you thought you loved to see evryday.I dont want pity though.It seems that these days are endless and the mere thought of facing them again tomorrow is morbid for me.But,somewhere in this strange quiet i have made a world for myself.I speak to myself quite often now,maybe because there isnt anyone else.There is a limit to evrything they say,a limit to loneliness,well...Its so long now that i gave up trying to find why,why exactly i was the victim of so much scorn.There are positive sides to life , i am actually quite suprised how easily i can survive all alone.Its making me strong ,and killing me.killing the softer side of me which in the future no one would dare to see.Is this happening for a reason,maybe.maybe i ought to learn that which i see so obvious in other's faces.I am dying in a certain way and somepart in me is growing.Some part that i feared to let out.That part which needs no friends.Cant they see me crying ,the morose in my eyes.If they saw that then they would give a smile,maybe thats all i need now.

friends without

There are two kinds of fear,the fear of the unknown and the fear of the known.It is not easy to be hated.There is this feirce conflict in my brain which is beyond explanation.That is why one should never commit to his brain.Some things should be left as it is.I normally do not confront people,but when they confront me,i show my soul,now that is a mistake.when u show ur soul you can get two responses,one of which is a deadly indifference.Being emotional is a vice.it will leave u scarred and by the time ur ride ends u wont be human.this magnamus force which will wash away ur existence.that is what happens when people become indifferent to you.i dont believe in polite conversation,but i do like to laugh and be at peace with friends around.when friends refuse to let us be friends it burns me to the belly trying to figure out.what exactly do we desire,its not sympathy nor comfort,we desire belongingness.friends have to love each other,for that love is great which does not accept nor reject but lets it be.maybe i am losing my mind ,someday u will too.but at the end of the day with whatever i have left in me ill say this to ye- a BIG FUKK U.